You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
it was like eating out sand paper
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
