Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I love you.
Bad choice
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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