rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
