at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
