So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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