Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
