Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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