i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
