I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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