i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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