so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
