My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party