I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize