I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
