She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
