My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
