I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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