Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize