Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I wish i was in the wii world.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Randomize
