I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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