i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
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i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
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How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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