The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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