No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
