I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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