Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
