what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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