woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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