so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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