Cold hands, warm shart.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
