And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
