I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
