Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
