why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
