babies were throwing up all over the place
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Girls should come with a carfax report
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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