Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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