i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
