I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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