We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
