carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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