dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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