i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
