Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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