I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I got her a Nickelback box set.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
