you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
