He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
