u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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