i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
