Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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