This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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