if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
