Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
