i permit you to call me
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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