I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
