My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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