What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
