plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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