The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.