He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he thought i was a dude.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.