only you would photoshop your dick
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
