this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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