Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
