you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
