better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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