Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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