he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm getting married
To pizza
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
