I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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