How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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