I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
