i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
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