i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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